Thursday, October 30, 2008


Just thought of this song when I woke up.. TGIF! :-)

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I,
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I
could it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that
it's not so bad,
It's not so bad.

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again,
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
That I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's
not so bad,
It's not so bad.

And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
And oh, just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life.

Push the door, I'm home at last
And I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel
And all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me.

And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
And oh, just to be with you
Is having the best
day of my life.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Night standing still.

Thoughts wonder.

Morning awakens.

Thoughts wander.

Mystery unfolds, then folds again.

Breathe; I tell myself.

Smile; life is good.

Peaks and valleys; that's just the way it is.

But love stays, always.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Attitude of love and attitude of law

Will I Go to Hell for Being Gay

Rev. Turner:

I'm a gay female who is having a *really* hard time dealing with being Christian and gay.

I grew up in a very religious family that are almost all born-again Christians. A big focus of a lot of my religious background centered around the second coming of Christ, and if you want to be taken into heaven when he comes, you must have accepted Jesus into your heart. I accepted Jesus when I was young, and still do to this day.

The main issue that I am dealing with is that I won't go to heaven because I'm gay, and that thought scares me and keeps me up at night, particularly now that religious groups are starting to discuss the possibility of the millennium being the second coming. These thoughts are eating me up inside.

This is extremely frustrating for me because I don't feel as if I chose to be gay. I actually wish that I was attracted to men, then I wouldn't be having this struggle. While I don't always succeed, I make every effort to be a humble, kind and giving person to anyone I meet. I also try to accept people for who they are, and make efforts to seek out the positive in people. But, that just doesn't seem to be enough.

I've only been out of the closet for about 3 1/2 years (I'm 25). Getting to that point was a struggle for me. I was constantly denying my attraction towards women. I have dated men, but I always knew that something just didn't seem right. I haven't told my family, and don't plan on doing so for quite sometime for fear that I will be disowned.

I'm currently in a loving relationship with a woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. She is not a Christian, but she knows of my beliefs (to some extent) and my religious upbringing. I just don't understand how my love for this woman can be wrong, yet I am continually questioning it (if that makes any sense). I haven't been able to discuss this struggle I'm dealing with to her, but I will eventually have to, since this seems to be consuming my thoughts a great deal.

If you have the time, I would appreciate some insight. I don't know who to talk to or where to go.

Thanks in advance.


Hi, this won't be too long, I promise. please forgive the lack of capitalization, also. the point is this, I was raised southern Baptist, and my grandfather told me under no uncertain terms that upon my death I would spend an eternity in hell. I know that people can say that god loves everyone, and back it up with scripture... but there are those who say that god hates fags ( Fred Phelps...) and he can back it up too. the point is this, why should I believe if no one can say one way or another? I am right now without religion, and I don't like that so if you would... HELP


Dear Becky and Mike,
I hope you both will forgive me for answering your letters together, however the questions you both raise are essentially the same although coming at it from different points on the map. Both your questions appear to involve fear about where you will end up after death. You both fear that if you pursue the life of your orientation will you end up in this place that some call hell.

I have come to recognize that your fears and concerns are rooted in the way you were taught to view God. So in essence, the only way that you will be able to get past those fears is to change the way you view God. So let's see if we can help with that.

I have recently been reading a book written by Bruce Bawer, called "Stealing Jesus: How Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity." From this book I have come to understand the real source of our fears when it comes to sexuality. The source of this fear is the difference between an attitude of love and an attitude of law. On page 5 of this book Mr. Bawer states:

"Simply stated, conservative Christianity focuses primarily on law, doctrine, and authority; liberal Christianity focuses on love, spiritual experience and... the priesthood of all believers. If conservative Christians emphasize the Great Commission--the resurrected Christ's injunction, at the end of the Gospel according to Matthew, 'go to all the nations and make them my disciples'--liberal Christians place more emphasis on the Great Commandment, which in Luke's Gospel reads as follows; 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.'"

What these few words means is that we have a choice as to whether we see God as a strict authoritarian who demands that all come to God in a specify way or we see God as a loving Creator who desires that all would come to God and would treat each other accordingly.

What both of you are focused on is a point of view that is based on the law and authority figures who have decided they speak on behalf of God. Yes, you have to make a choice as to how you shall view God and who you will choose to believe. However, I must tell you to believe that God would create something with free will and then ultimately destroy that creation because it didn't follow the law is rubbish. If this were true, why provide Jesus the Christ as Savior? Why provide a doctrine of Grace which says one is saved by Grace alone and not by what they do? Why did Jesus, when asked state that the Greatest Commandment was, say to Love God and to love your Neighbor? He never said in order to be okay with God and not go to hell you must obey the law of the day, rather he spent all of his ministry telling folks to love God and giving them example after example of how they could show and could live that love. The women caught in adultery, the raising of Lazarus, the blind person healed, the Roman Centurion slave healed, the women with the issue of blood healed.

Listen to Jesus' words:

"When you have done this to the least of my brothers or sisters you have done this to me."--Matthew 25:40

"Be not be judges of others, and you will not be judged. For as you have been judging, so you will be judged, and with your measure will it be measured to you. And why do you take note of the grain of dust in your brother's eye, but take no note of the bit of wood which is in your eye?" --Matthew 7: 1-3

"Then Jesus said to the people and to his disciples: The scribes and the Pharisees have the authority of Moses; All things, then, which they give you orders to do, these do and keep: but do not take their works as your example, for they say and do not. They make hard laws and put great weights on men's backs; but they themselves will not put a finger to them...Matthew 23:1-4

"But a curse is on you, scribes and Pharisees, false ones! because you are shutting the kingdom of heaven against men: for you do not go in yourselves, and those who are going in, you keep back. A curse is on you, scribes and Pharisees, false ones! for you go about land and sea to get one disciple and, having him, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves. A curse is on you, blind guides, who say, Whoever takes an oath by the Temple, it is nothing; but whoever takes an oath by the gold of the Temple, he is responsible. You foolish ones and blind: which is greater, the gold, or the Temple which makes the gold holy?"--Matthew 23: 13-17

Yes, my dear children of God you can chose to live in fear by the law and the authority of those around you or you can choose to live by the words of Jesus and his examples.

You can belong to the church of the Pharisees, Scribes and Paul or you can belong to the Church that Jesus spent his ministry building and ultimately died for. A church that was to include all those whom people said were not part of God. I challenge you both to read the words of Jesus and see that all fear has been cast out and in it's place given that of perfect love

God Bless,

Pastor Paul

My two cents' worth:
My contention on this issue is that no matter how we justify our actions and beliefs, as humans we can never really fathom exactly what God will do to us when we die. He is that smart to leave us hanging all the time, making life here on earth such a "majestic mystery," and just be guided according to what standard we believe in because no matter how genius or super intelligent one person can be in interpreting the words of God from the bible, it is still merely a human's point of view and not God's. So it would be logical to say, too, that what we ought to do is defocus ourselves into thinking about judgment and instead focus and dwell on how to live a life that is full of loving as that is what God is teaching us when He sent his only son to redeem us all - He so loved the world.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Enchanting Fireworks

There's nothing compared to the joy of seeing the brightest fireworks occupy the dark sky, how vivid they light up the gloomy night. It's like life taking on an explosion of vivid lights and every second counts, blink and you'll miss out on a lot.

Enchanting indeed to be there and test your patience of falling in line for rides and having your heart jumping all over your chest for the sheer excitement of the Log Jam. It has been a long time since I held my breath due to mixed emotions of being excited, thrilled and freaked out from a heart-stopping ride. I'm glad no camera took a memory of my horrified and shocked face. I didn't even have time to shout my lungs out as I got so overwhelmed with the split second rush of the log falling so fast and getting a nice shower. Pio didn't want another round, though. He got doubly shocked as I was.

I hope everyday life is like this experience. I guess that is why I love taking pictures and videos, to capture the memories that made my heart stomp and the delight of moments spent with people who make my life complete.

Everyday, everyday the magic is here.. Everyday we celebrate the magic we feel :)

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Pagibig, hay pagibig

Bat nga ba pag nagmamahal ka at minamahal..

parang walang dahilan para hindi ka ngumiti.

parang ang bawat takot napapawi.

parang bawat sandali merong saysay.

parang walang katapusan ang pagasang lahat ng bagay ay umaayon.

parang kahit merong mga bumabangabag ay gumagaan kasi alam mong meron kang kaagapay.

Kung lahat ng nasa relasyon marunong lang umintindi at makinig ng lubusan para magtagpo sa gitna o kung saan mang posisyon na aayon sa isa't isang panig, wala sanang kagulumihan, maiiwasan ang nasasaktan, at mapapawi ang lahat na pangit. Naniniwala ako na sapat ang pagibig na pundasyon at ang ibang elemento tulad ng respeto, tiwala, suporta at pagtutulungan ay natural na susunod at sasabay sa daloy ng pagsasama. Kung ang isasa-isip lang lagi ang kapakanan ng mahal mo sa buhay at kung paanong gagaang ang buhay nya dahil andyan ka, ansaya ng mundo! Di ba. Kasi kung ano ang ibinibigay mo, siksik-liglig ang balik sa yo nun. Kaya ano ba ang gusto mong bumalik sa yo, sakit ng katawan, ulo at kasu-kasuan O pag-aaruga, pagkalinga at kaligayahan? Ikaw ang pumili. Walang taong biktima kundi ang taong nag-iisip na sya ay biktima.

Carry on :)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

The U's

I read this from a book by Dr. Ron Jenson. Very interesting for people who are in a committed relationship.

The deeper a relationship goes, the greater the unity that will exist in that relationship.

By unity, I do not mean union. Union takes place when we are joined together organically, as in marriage, a business partnership, or some other organizational match. Certainly you can be in a union but have no unity.

Nor am I referring to uniformity. Uniformity occurs when we do things the same way. I believe "group think" can be dangerous at times. If we are too much alike, we stop growing, sharpening, and being sharpened by the people around us. For example, you and I have a high level of unity, but we are different. You are musically and artistically inclined in your interests. I am organizationally and business-related enthused. Your ideal day is to bum around like a couch potato, reading a book, and watching an interesting art or jologs film. My ideal day is outdoors, communing with nature, and enjoying pizza and ice cream under a tree. But blogging is what we are uniformly enticed.

Finally, I am not speaking of unanimity. Unanimity takes place when we totally agree. Certainly we should be agreeable and gracious, but we will not always agree. Forced unanimity can stifle a relationship. If you can't think for yourself, or if you are unable to be other than conforming and submissive, then you are always going to be gullible, a slave to whatever any authority figure dictates.

I am speaking of UNITY. Unity begins with giving up your own agenda to develop a better one. It's combining your uniqueness with that of another to create something NEW. It's choosing to be more EXCITED about the success of the other person than your own success. It's a spirit of oneness that seeks to build up the person you deeply love and to be open and honest in the process. It is rooted in genuine caring (a commitment and action, not merely an emotion).

United we stand, together we fall :)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Divine Grace

You are the ultimate grace, an intimate gift given me.

A love so divine is what I promise until the rest of my days, loving every fiber of your being.

Fate has brought us together time and again, a deeper purpose only our hearts can comprehend.

To you I offer a life lived fully, fulfilling what we are meant to be, standing by my commitment to Him who gave you to me.

Past forgotten and learned from, future still to behold and plan for, the present is everything we have and just about what we ever need to live in and stay joyful and peaceful.