Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Greens and Blues for 2009

New year
New beginnings
New adventures
New dreams
New challenges
New awakenings..

Back to basics.
The only old matters to hold on to.
To journey through life.
Life as it is.
Is evolving everyday.
Everyday a fresh start.
Start from failures.
Failures that enrich.

"We know that in all things, God works for good with those who love Him, those whom He has called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

Happy New Year!

Monday, December 22, 2008

A great time to be grateful

As the wonderful Christmas song goes.. 'Tis the season to be jolly, falalalalalalala. Merry Christmas!

I've been struggling lately to write an entry, mostly because I've been preoccupied with the rush of the holidays and partly maybe just lost touch with my inner voice, being too absorbed with all the merriness in the air as Christmas is fast approaching. I've always believed writing is a gift, a free-flowing expression to touch others, and being too busy to communicate with the voice within left me thought-deprived. So, thank God I had time to breathe now and voila! I am writing again. Cheers to that! (see? that's how preoccupied I have been lately, with all the drinking spree and parties :-)).

I guess especially for us Pinoys, the best holiday is Christmas, because through this season we get to celebrate our family bonds, reunite with long lost friends, make amends with our enemies, and simply enjoy the company of people we even barely know just for the spirit of giving and sharing. This is the magical time where people seem to be in a trance state and can be so forgiving and loving and generous and understanding. Imagine if everyday was Christmas, there will be no wars, no conflicts, no suffering.. but then again, that won't be the earth as we know it. Think about it, the reason why life here on earth is just a passing stage is because it is a way to be whole again. It is through all the chaos we experience from being in various forms of relationships with other humans that we get to realize, bottom point, we will all die and leave this earth. The means by which we die we can only wish to know but simply cannot, so I guess this is the best time also to reflect on what state we want to be when He finally calls us to join Him.

BUT, let's think about it again, what if indeed we can create "A New Earth." A place where everyday is Christmas. A place where instead of people competing on who has the tallest and biggest EGO, people are competing who get to be more loving, more giving, more kind, more passionate in caring, more forgiving.. hay, heaven on earth. It's not something impossible if we work on the start of it all - ourselves, and then little by little it becomes a disease spread out with all human relationships we are connected with.

Then again, you may ask, would not earth be so boring if nobody fights? Hmm, it depends on how you view boring. Is it boring if instead of wasting all your energy in shouting and stressing your nerves, you get to laugh your heart out whole day and having your aim when you wake up in the morning to how make a person unburdened just because you are there? I don't think life would at all be boring since we are all unique creatures and a blend of the differences makes it all exciting and un-boring. The key is to appreciate the uniqueness and respect the differences. Being humans, we need to be grateful all the time in the best and especially the worst of times living here on earth.

So now, my grateful list for this wonderful year:

1. Thank God for the ever-supportive family I have, especially nanay who just silently but simply loves me as I am, and for Pio who constantly teaches me how to become the best mom I could possibly be. You are the blessing that reminds me of my greater purpose, the constant reminders to be humble and selfless.

2. Thank God for making the "ordinary" person that I am extraordinary because of the "extra" waiting that I had to endure to be blessed now with such a gifted and blessed person. Uni, you are and will always be His most personal gift to me and I will forever cherish your coming into my life. You have opened up "worlds" for me to expand and together I believe we can make a beautiful mark in this earth. I share your hope that He really understands why there is an "us." :-*

3. Thank God for friendships that have gone through times of happiness and sorrow, the ever-reliable friends that go beyond the geographic distance and defying time just to be there to comfort and care. Guys, my life has been happily bearable because of your presence.

4. Thank God for continuously using me as an avenue to be a blessing to others through my work, His grace of riches I get to share no matter how menial it is at the moment, and for constantly reminding me that He always carries my burdens with me and I only need to trust and do my share, blessing the works of my hands and seeing me through.

5. Thank God for all the difficult people He sends to make me grow and challenge me to become a better person. Also for the nicest people who make life easier, the random angels in disguise.

6. Finally, thank God for blogging :-) Need I say more?


Monday, December 15, 2008

For Arteh's Sake


Picking a color to describe how I feel at this moment, it will be yellow.

The title of Turner's painting describes pointedly the role of the color yellow: Radiant yellow sun ends a long period of darkness and begins a new pure era of Light after the all devouring Deluge. The painting is considered to be an allegory of Light. Moses is depicted slightly above the center in the vortex of light.

Man and his Wife
Picking a fruit to describe my present relationship in general, this painting depicts its essence - lemon.

In this painting by an unknown artist, an intimate portrait between a man and woman, a lemon tree can be plainly viewed in the background, symbolizing fidelity in love. Possibly from North Italy but perhaps not by an Italian artist, this portrait is unusually intimate (it is rare for a man to be painted with his hand around his wife's neck). It was also slightly unusual for a woman to stand on her husband's right hand side.

Finally, picking a portrait best describing how I view life in general, the masterpiece of Vincent Van Gogh - Starry Night.

There is the night sky filled with swirling clouds, stars ablaze with their own luminescence, and a bright cresset moon. Although the features are exaggerated, this is a scene we can all relate to, and also one that most individuals feel comfortable and at ease with. This sky keeps the viewer's eyes moving about the painting, following the curves and creating a visual dot to dot with the stars. This movement keeps the onlooker involved in the painting while the other factors take hold. Below the rolling hills of the horizon lies a small town. There is a peaceful essence flowing from the structures. Perhaps the cool dark colors and the fiery windows spark memories of our own warm childhood years filled with imagination of what exists in the night and dark starry skies. The center point of the town is the tall steeple of the church, reigning largely over the smaller buildings. This steeple casts down a sense of stability onto the town, and also creates a sense of size and seclusion. To the left of the painting there is a massive dark structure that develops an even greater sense of size and isolation. This structure is magnificent when compared to the scale of other objects in the painting. The curving lines mirror that of the sky and create the sensation of depth in the painting. This structure also allows the viewer to interpret what it is. From a mountain to a leafy bush, the analysis of this formation is wide and full of variety.

Being loved by you is like a work of art touched with a crazy blend of spirits and haze, yet spiritually challenging to the max level :-)

Then again, loving you is like a roller coaster experience. The fear is there of taking the ride yet I still go. As it goes, the turns and speed create butterflies in my stomach, the feeling of throwing up. In the middle of the ride, I scream to the top of my lungs and become confused about wanting to go down against the thought of missing out a lot if I don't finish the whole ride. In the end, I realize it's always worth it, full of weird surprises but having fun learning in the process. I am holding on.. tight. :-*

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

LSS strikes again..

I'm standing on the bridge

I'm waiting in the dark

I thought that you'd be here by now

There's nothing but the rain

No footsteps on the ground

I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I... I'm with you

I'm with you (Mmm..)

I'm looking for a place

I'm searching for a face

Is anybody here I know?

'Cause nothing's going right

And everything’s a mess

And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

Oh! Why is everything so confusing?

Maybe I'm just out of my mind

Yeah.. yeah.. yeah!..yeah.. yeah, yeah.. yeah, yeah yeah,YEAH...

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I....! I'm with YOU...I'm with YOU...

Monday, December 8, 2008

Number trip :-)

Nine: The spiritual meaning of number Nine brings us to the very height of vibrational frequencies in this number sequence. Nine represents attainment, satisfaction, accomplishment, and our success to achieve an influence in our circumstances. The spiritual meaning of number Nine deals with intellectual power, inventiveness, influence over situations and things. Nine beseeches us to recognize our own internal attributes and extend these abilities out into the world to make a positive, influential difference.

So now it makes more sense how wonderful this date is and it is worth celebrating. Great to have you in my life Uni, happy happy! I know you don't remember, hence this reminder, cheers to Alzheimer's :-) Sweet ako noh?!?

Raising the bar one notch

... inspired by Grey's Anatomy Season 5 premiere.

Once upon a time, happily ever after..

The stories we tell are the stuff of dreams.

Fairy tales don't come true.

Reality is much stormy, much murkier, much frightening.

But reality is so much more interesting than living happily ever after.

That's just life even if you don't have a happy ending always.

I am not an experimenter; it's scary. People barely have ever-afters. But you are my person. It matters what you say and I need you to pretend that I am capable of doing things that I fail myself to believe in. We can make anything work. Let's be scared together and hold each other in times when we feel old, beaten, trenched, sloppy and freaking out.

The bar has been raised.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


In a relationship, these things happen:

She wants red, you want blue - you both choose green instead.

She forgets to inform you about something, you get angry - you both say sorry.

She doubts that you doubt, you just wanted details - you both say I love you in the end.

She wishes the situation is different, you just miss her - you both keep quiet and breathe.

She likes to drink, you silently wonder if it's becoming a habit - you both shrug it off.

She does not like planning, you just want to be a little prepared - you both end up surprised.

Insisting on what's loving, not what you think is right and what you justifiably want. It's always a choice.

I am your hot air balloon. Your flame keeps me afloat.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Life is what you make it they always say. Who would'nt agree. Especially when you know and would have the privilege of having to prepare for your own death. Seeing the Indie film "100" last night, it dawned on me yet again that life is indeed short and death is but imminent, only a question of time.

But how can you really tell one has lived life fully? As I have come to understand it, it is when you begin to live selflessly, of course amidst the fact that you have your own selfish desires. Accomplishing personal goals and dreams is but human nature and I guess the subtle difference comes in only when you realize that through making yourself contented and happy first do you get to be succesful in making people around you and important to you happy as well. It's commonsense. You cannot give what you do not have.

Also apparent on the film was how acceptance is the key as turning point in moving on. Only when you stop resisting and negatively reacting to a situation you have no control over does peace come in and acceptance moves you to productive action and emotions.

Don't we all aim for peace of mind and world peace? Think about it. Imagine dying tomorrow. What would you do today?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The tie that binds

It's amusing and amazing how time flies. I still vividly remember how tiny my nieces and nephews were eons ago and how I changed their diapers and gave them baths as I laughed at how cute they become when they enjoy almost drowning under the shower. I saw how they turned from a cute toddler taking their first steps to seeing how tomato-looking their genitals get after circumcision and having to dress it myself with Betadine and gauze, being the only nurse in the family. It's funny how the tables have turned and the older ones get to treat me out for a night out and introduce me to their partners, even teasing me why they don't wanna get married yet because I am their idol and as long as I stay single, they would also. Goodluck to us!

Gone were the days where I was the center of attention being the youngest of five, where I had two yayo kuyas and two yaya ates. I was a spoiled brat growing up, getting almost anything I tantrumed about. Those were glorious days, or so I thought. Growing up is indeed a miracle in itself.

Relationships that matter.


It's the core.

It's the unit you'll always come back to, whether you like it or not.. indispensable.

But then again, I have my own right now. A hard core, rocking the third world, challenging beliefs core of a unique family.. capturing the present moment, this is my family - Meet the gray matters :-)