Thursday, January 15, 2009

Love and smoking

I know I truly love when I have you inhabit every part of my being. It's nothing really planned, with each passing day our lives become entangled, naturally following the flow of giving up a space in me and realizing that space I give away gets occupied the same way you have given up yours for me. Now we end up working, planning, thinking, dreaming, laughing, crying, bumming, fighting, kissing, hugging, partying, drinking and smoking together (hail L Word for the verb usage!).

Loving even to the point of bringing back the habit of smoking I've given up for sometime just so to be connected with you, a bizarre kind of bond that I feel brings us much closer because with every smoke, we get to converse and breathe deeply, as if to blow all stress and pressures away, dispersed to the universe. The hell with all the health risk warnings about smoking, which all smokers by the way very well know and yet still won't kick the habit. That must be one good reason why people smoke, feeling it course through the lungs with every inhalation, entering every air passage there is inside, like deeply filling a vast space of emptiness, a void that has always been there ready to be filled.

A void, we all have that.. a longing lover, a desire to be accepted and understood, a feeling of loss, a widow grieving, a mother missing the company of her adult child, a job pressure, a missed opportunity, a pressing family problem, a financial crisis, a friend in need. God must have thought about it so wisely that we have these voids every now and then, not for the smoke to fill of course, but for Him to connect with us deeply, because it is when these voids are stretched that we get reminded all we need is Him. In this life full of voids, may we learn to breathe deeply, whisper an ardent prayer, and thank Him unceasingly for letting us experience the emptiness, because only then can we also go through the unexplainable ecstacy of being filled and full to the brim.

I thank God everyday for bringing us together Uni. I pray no void will ever be enough to bring us down. Let's fill each other unceasingly. :-*

1 comment:

  1. Having known you as the person that you are is enough to move me everyday.

    To push me away would require a lot.. I'd give you a thousand reasons why it's impossible to not love you.

    The sweetest headache you'll ever get. My love.